How to recognise your strengths

Calypso Barnum-Bobb is a self-discovery coach who helps people express their most authentic selves so they can create lives they’re truly obsessed with.

She’s also our resident Jobs Lead and curates career opportunities that our community will love on The Know’s Jobs Board, designed to help you find your next purpose-driven role.

This piece is part of a series by Calypso which is all about helping you level up in your career and work out the path that’s right for you.

Growing up, we’re never taught how to celebrate ourselves.

From receiving gold stars at school to getting promoted by our managers, how “good” we are is most often determined by external factors - rather than by our own self-belief.

Unless we’re lucky enough to grow up with people who instil this self-belief within us from a young age, learning to recognise and celebrate our strengths is something we have to teach ourselves.

We often have to take the blinkers off to see where our skills and strengths really lie - and that process can send us off down a wonderful path of self-discovery. Here’s how to do it!

1. Reflect on your wins - and celebrate them!

In life, we’re always looking forward to the next big milestone - whether that’s a promotion at work or an upcoming holiday - but rarely do we look back and celebrate the things we have accomplished.

That’s why I encourage my coaching clients to spend 10 minutes creating an “I’ve got this list”, where you write down all the things you’ve ever done that you’re really proud of.

This could include getting a great job, having a child, organising a beautiful dinner party or walking an old lady across the street - all the things you’ve ever done that remind you that you’re a good and capable person.

Have this as a working list and make time at the end of the week, month or quarter (whatever works for you) to joy down your wins.

This task is all about forming your own self-validation toolkit, to remind yourself what you’re good at.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

First things first: in order to recognise our own strengths, we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. When we focus on what we perceive to be the skills and achievements of others, it becomes much harder to see our own.

We are all guilty of doing this. Whether it’s on social media, in the office or at the pub on a Friday night, rest assured that everyone is looking at everyone else and wishing they had it together like them.

We’re all stuck in this cycle of comparison - but it’s important to remember that we’re comparing ourselves to a false representation we’ve created of someone else. We waste hours and tonnes of brain-space by comparing ourselves to characters we’ve created in our minds via an Instagram story or a brief interaction - and the space for recognising our own strengths becomes smaller and smaller.

So, as hard as it is, try and catch yourself when you’re comparing yourself to others - and remember that we all have strengths and flaws.

3. Think about what you love

If you’re looking to recognise your strengths specifically in regard to your career - perhaps you’re going for a promotion, or considering a change of industry - it’s worth reflecting on your previous jobs (even if they feel unrelated) and thinking about what you enjoyed in each one.

I’ll give an example. In my previous career as a fashion buyer, I loved presenting. In my first ever job as a waiter, I loved meeting people and having those interactions. Now I’m a public speaker - and all of those parts of previous jobs which I enjoyed (the interacting, sharing and presenting) come into play on a regular basis.

We tend to think that our strengths are what we’ve received praise from others for or got a certificate in, but if you’re interested in something, you’re more likely to become really good at it. Remember that what inspires you or lights you up the most is usually a strength.

And you might not have met your strengths yet! By following the breadcrumb trail of what excites and inspires you, you might find something else that lights you up.

4. Don’t let perfectionism hold you back

Being good at something doesn’t mean being perfect at it. Strengths do not equal perfection! I can’t emphasise this enough.

Don’t let perfectionism hold you back from exploring new avenues and starting out as a beginner. Equally, don’t be put off from trying something just because others are doing it “better” than you. Remember that there is strength in opportunity, so don’t ever hold yourself back from trying new things.

If you’re looking to kickstart your career or move roles, check out our Jobs Board. And you can find plenty more advice like this from Calypso on Instagram.